I want to write about tomorrow...

Oct. 20th, 2017 09:52 pm
wanderlustlover: (School: Atrocities - enriana)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
...and every compacted and impacted frustration I have with tomorrow, and all the frustrations that have led up to me wishing time would drag its feet and not bring me swiftly on the heels of my dreams to morning. All the words that have never been said, and never been needed, that have just swirled and swirling growing ever bigger behind my breast bone.

But. I am really tired. With compounds the frustration. As does needing enough sleep to get up early and do all of Miss Scarlett's costume and make perfectly, to then be basically on point, working for most of 12 hours tomorrow.

It'll keep. It's been keeping all of these months already.





And, minor plus, once it's kept still one day more, it will finally (finally) be done.





P.S. That great moment seconds later when you realize you'd forgotten you were supposed to pack in the morning an overnight bag, and a second costume, for your first Halloween Party of the season, plus the morning-after outfit which needs to by cosplay related for GGB Brunch, which is immediately followed by Rostelcom Party in your own house, that you'll only be driving between each to the next without coming home again.

Augh. More reason I need to go to sleep to get up so early and do all the things at dawn.
wanderlustlover: (Poetry (Dance): Whitman - bookelfe)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
[ Day I | Day II | Day III | Day IV | Day V ]

Day III - 20 Facts About Me

1. This year -- for the first time since I was 12 and received a horrible bowl cut that made me threaten to shave my head if anyone ever came near it again -- I got my hair cut. I'd done regular trims, but this was my first serious, and along with it I acquired a hair girl named Angela, whom I see about every 2-3 months.

2. I have two piercings on each of the lower lobes of my ears, the lower left of which is ripped longer than normal from a childhood bike accident. I entertain an exorbitent amount of jewelry and a lot of dangling earrings. In the times when I'm keeping my dresser neater, I use them all the time.

3. I have three tattoos. One on the outside of my right bicep: the symbol "愛" in Japanese Katakana, spoken as "Aishiteiru," or "Ai", meaning "to love," picked to match my name (Amanda/Of Love/Beloved). Two on the insides of my ankles: the right a treble clef with a heart in the middle and the left a quill pen amid writing.

4. My life used to be overflowing with religious/spiritual activity, and it’s gotten very stagnant, with nothing filling some egregious gaps that formed due to extenuatingly bad circumstances. I am in a year-long dedication to Throat Chakra (in eight years dedicated to the chakra’s, one per year). I keep the holidays, and have holiday altars, but I thirst for more lately.

5. At any given time I’m in the middle of 4-5 books (and always set myself the challenge of reading 100 books a year). I have a 40 minute drive to and from work usually running an audio book. I have the books I’m currently teaching in my AP III & IV English classes. I have a long, slow bed-table book. I have constantly filling advance readers from Netgalley & Library Thing, and newly backed publications from Kickstarter.

6. My vocabulary is deeply extensive already, to the point I throw around big words without any concerns already (and I do not audit for any audience of personage unless they are under ten), so understand the gravity of these words to come: I feel I'm re-learning vocabulary I have not used in nearly a decade in teaching AP. (Aside: I love it so much.)

7. I have lost a little sister, a parent, a grand parent, and a lover. Within these have fallen a natural passing, a ravaging disease, a willful self-suicide past rehabiliation, and manslaughter. I have lost two half decade plus best friends. I'm pragmatic prepared and realistic about my own survival in the face of the worst of grief and loss.

8. I believe in unconditional love and I have a terminal case of hope. Not optimism, but hope. I am a highly optimistic realist, but I am absolutely incapable of not hoping. Believing their is always a silver lining, a meaning to be found, lessons to be learned, a future path being warmed and prepared.

9. I love technology and I use a lot of it. Daily, I wear a Fitbit One, an Apple Watch 2, and an 6s IPhone. In my purse, I carry a Kindle PaperWhite. At home, I have a Mac Laptop, iPad 2, an AppleTv 2, Firestick, Instant Pot, and Vitamix. At work, Dell Computer, Apple Ipad, Elmo, Projector, and Laptop Cart. (I already have plans for my upgrades for iPhone X, Kindle Oasis, and AppleTv 4.) On all of these I have favorite amazing tech programs, as well, which I occasionally do favorite tech rec's.

10. I love lists and keep them everywhere, especially on notepads on my computer, on post-its notes of endless rainbow colors and shapes at my desk, and in the reminder app & notepad app of my iPhone. Without them I would forget so many things, including plans and promises, it's not even quantifiable.

11. I can't draw to save my life. Or even be granted a million dollars. It's hilarious. And sad. I am the person who can mess up stick figures. But I've mostly come to terms with it now. I once drew the picture replica of my hand, with a ring, in high school, but it was on the back of a state test booklet and I wasn't even allowed to keep it.

12. I love snow with the kind of unwavering love the moves mountains and meet money. I want to live somewhere it is negative 15 in the winter, and around 113 in the summer. So much that I experience seasonal crankiness/depressions in places where this isn't happening (such as when it's too warm to even be winter in Texas, or when it was too mild to truly ever be warm enough in the summer in Korea). I know it's not a very realistic to fill want, but it doesn't change it happening, or me loving those seasons as such.

13. I will off the top of my head when asked identify as Bisexual and Polyamorous, but it's actually a lot closer to say I'm Demi-Sexual/Pan-Sexual/Pan-Romantic than actually Bisexual. It's, also, a lot more unlikely I'll ever point out that I don't date, and won't re-date if there isn't a spark. I'm just unable to figure out dating if I'm not interested, and 90% of the time I'm not interested.

14. The flip side of the 10% though is that every single relationship in my life has been two years or longer (with only a one-girl friend caveat being below that). All of the people I've end up with pinged the interest scale so hard and so seriously that I ended up with them for a very long time. And I'm really actually okay with this system. I'd rather be with the serious-to-me people, than go through many who weren't.

15. It's not impossible for me to cry, but it is still really hard and extremely, snow in lower Texas, rare for it to happen anywhere near other people. I'm past the point where it's been years since I've cried finally, but it's still a rather low yearly number, because there are few things feel as useless, pointless, and personally messy as crying to me still. I can, when it happens, let it happen, but it still won't happen for very long. A few minutes. My logic remains strongly entrenched in the crying not actually accomplishing anything to solve the actual problem.

16. I have weak nails. I love to grow them, and tap them on things, but they will always bend, tear and break long before I have any chance to grow them extraordinarily long. I really love them painted, like really really love it, but I get really annoyed at how fast normal & gel peels off, as well as anything that ruins my actual nail by requiring someone to shave it down first.

17. My favorite forms of exercise are heavy weight lifting and swimming. I've been weight lifting for over two years now, originally with a trainer, now alone, and totally on pace with a 5x5 app. I've been swimming in a serious fashion since somewhere in the middle of this past spring, wherein I acquired all professional gear and started follow professional swims through Swim Pro, too.

18. I love music with the fire of a million suns. I think in lyrics a lot of times. I have several playlists dedicated to characters in the 300-600+ songs per playlist range (and anywhere between 1-7 playlists for any given character, with that many songs on them). I do the same with my own personal playlists and listening. I play music in my classroom all the time and my kids love that I cover the widest of unending varieties.

19. My current (and mostly long standing) vices of choice are everything/anything tea, dark chocolate (especially the Godiva Drinking Dark Chocolate at Christmas), Victoria Secret (...well, everything really; bras, underwear, sports wear, bath stuff, perfume, sleep wear), Bath & Body Works (shower gels for myself and sale lotions for my kids in the classroom), and most of all right now, any and all adorable Katsuki Yuri merchandise from Yuri!!! On Ice.

20. I have a life long thing for red-headed telepaths, apparently.

I fell in love with Ember (the not-yet-then Blood of Eleven Chiefs) at the age of about five. I fell in love with Jean Grey (of the cartoon tv shows and then the comics, later) at the tender age of nine. I fell in love with Lyta Alexander, somewhere right at the end of my teensish period, beginning of my live journal, around 17/18. I fell in love with Edward Cullen (after infecting myself with the whole 4-book series in less than 36 hours the weekend the fourth book came out, which was the week right after I finished writing my Master thesis) at 26.

Subject Index )
wanderlustlover: (Scene Maker - misty_creates)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
Lay beside me, under wicked sky
Through black of day, dark of night, we share this paralyze
The door cracks open but there's no sun shining through
Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining through
wanderlustlover: (Inconvenient Truths - imaginaryalice34)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
I think about starting this up, taking this up, having taken it up again, a lot the last few days. It's the go-to topic in my head that is not King Lear Act I, AP Multiple Choice Strategies, or Tropes & Schemes Poetry. I've turned over and over in my head this idea I've been trying to put into words, about the glaring hole of silence in my world, in my heart, in my head.

I think about talking about feeling relieved every time I've hit send, like this iota footprint of space has cleared out from my clogged to choking mind, never quite sure how to put it into words. My last post was the beginning of my 2017 version for 31 Days of Blogging (which I've actually been working on since this morning/last night, making sure all the links were updated right, and picking pictures during work today on the side), and I thought I'd glance at my number II from 2013.

Starting out, my options, were amusing, but then I hit twelve and felt my heart stutter.
12. I write a lot. A lot. And it's true that maybe there is only one person who sees it that on a daily basis, whether that's in a game or it's in iMessage. But it's there, and I really only massively worry about how my internal barometer is doing when I stop being able to see where the massive daily/weekly outpouring of my words is.
I used to talk about this a lot. The idea words (words, words) defined where my internal barometer truly was, and you could tell something was wrong if I was quiet and not writing. It wasn't ever not true. A number of words happening in my week. Anywhere. Everywhere. I'm not writing a lot anywhere. Discourse is at a minimum. There are band-aids, but not tributaries.

The idea this silence shapes the edges of my emptiness feels suddenly deafening tonight, in these words from a me who was only saying them four years ago, four very different years ago, especially when I think about the fact 90% of the noise in my weeks, currently, is children, who need me as a teacher and don't know me at all as a singular person...

I'm not entirely willing, or wanting, to stare at the whole of this dark shape in the eyes yet. But at least I can recognize its name in the mouth of my younger self, when I feel where the sore beat of my heart thumps furiously for a moment in the clear connection to what was once far more of itself.
wanderlustlover: (Poetry: I Contain Multitudes - Ruuger)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
Day I - Introduction and recent photo

Hi, I'm Amanda, called Amanda, who is Amare, and is recognized sort of twitter/Tumblr/fanfic/etc internet over as Wanderlustlover. I'm really good at being willing to answer any question someone poses me about myself, or take part in any discussion volleyed over in my direction, but my introduction never seems to run short, because I never seem to consider the world in concision.

My first introduction people find is the one you'll find on my journal profile;

I am ink stains and music notes; reader, writer, singer, and muse. Loves the smell of old books; entertain that which aspires to a library. Cooks a soulful yuletide bread, a mean lobster and amazing ramen mix. I am worn pages and spinning atoms; philosopher, student, and rule breaker. I adore teachers, books, classes, and homework. This is my bliss. Respect it. Challenge it. Please.

I am snowdrops in spring; horseback riding, cheerleader, girl scout turned comic manager and college salesman, seventeen-year soprano turned writer and teacher. Champions those who would challenge fear to seek their hearts and dreams content, ever-changing daily. Thinks smoking should be banned, parents taught how to raise children, and children left alone to dream.

I am silent wish, whispered prayer; dragon-protected, water-touched, moon-child, unconditional love: Amare. Four things truest- dragons, blue, three and love. I am dried leaves and exotic scents; eclectic herbologist and oiliest, sometimes Diana dedicated, Pagan. Thinks God's a man, think God's a woman; think it's silly we're trying to assign trivial things like names and genders to the great creative force.

I am Taurus with Pisces rising and five houses in Sagittarius. I am spontaneous movement and grounded stability. I am the arrow that is going. My mind is always seeking, ten thousand things in ten thousand directions. My feet, filled wanderlust, traversing new places constantly. Dreams endless, each old invoking a new star to populate my sky.

I am hawthorn tree and staunch boar; stubborn, at times unyielding. Works self into the ground at regular intervals. Willing to give everything for others when needed and not needed. Place those around me above my self. I am INFP and one; sensitive dreamer, loyal and easily wounded. Sanity is continually dependent on my car, my computer and the bed of blue.

I am sleepless nights and lines of code; geek, gamer, web creator and fangirl. X-men spectator; fan by fanatic, all around comic enthusiast. Watcher of almost all sci-fi space shows; third generation Trekkie; shameless gamer. Lover of all stories of love. I am oddity and intensity; have worked with children, elderly, handicapped, retail, museums, and comic fanboys.

I am husky fragrance and flowing form; female of the species, mostly free-spirit tomboy to slowly charming woman. Still prefers bare feet to sandals, sandals to heels, but thongs to underwear and bath bombs to soap bars. Have outgrown tank tops and discovered scarves, elegant dresses, and girl-cut shirts. Secretly entranced with becoming a girl.

I am fire's ember and phoenix's flare; posses long fuse, explosive temper and hidden scars. Still learning how to cry. Starts more things than are finished. Lives in a constant state of inspiration, gratitude, and hunger. I am a water creature; a palette of deep browns, pale pinks, and deep blues. Needs forests and oceans, needs cities and cars.

I am ever woods and crumpled papers; faithful, honest, nervous and judgmental extroverted introvert. I am understanding and hypocritical. Loving and hoping beyond reason. Forgive everything, forget nothing. Think too much about my body; yet content with my weight. Believe that all forms of falling in love and making mistakes should be embraced.


My second one, aka The Massive and Informative One, you'll find as the top first entry of both my live journal (here) and my dream width (here), which is from many years, but was mostly recently updated today/yesterday.

It comes with when, where whats of I was born, where I'm living now and with who, and then a plethora of tiny overviews of important topics: Parents & Family, Spirituality & Religion, Education, Health & Body, Sexuality & Politics, Strong Passions, Fandoms & Fannish, Places to Find Me, and Filters You Can Opt In To and Out Of.

Another awesome introduction is My Mini-Gaming Intro Link. It was made in late 2015, during my foray into some new games while partaking of fandom/gaming community involvement on Plurk (but is updated often enough).

Some recent & relevant pictures  )



Subject Index )

On this the 18th of October

Oct. 18th, 2017 08:25 pm
wanderlustlover: (Friends: Mail Call - enriana)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
Dear Kimi,

I have been composing this letter in my head all day.

It's been several years since my last one of these, and I will make you no more excuse than the single I allow the universe for taking you in the first place -- time moves on. This remains unerringly true, does it not? Somehow past my teen age years, somehow past four years ago when I hit as many years alive after your passing as in a life with you, somehow to one year before it will be two decades since you passed.

I have pictures of you, on my living room wall, on my bookshelf in my classrooms. I cannot imagine you as a fixed point, an end dot, an end stop. I can't imagine you frozen time, waiting on a sister who cannot be. I can't imagine you still only thirteen, with babies and a flare for that pink Mexican dress. I hope that the color of your eyes in mind remains as vibrant in you as it will always in my memory, and that I can be allowed to wish and dream and imagine it forever in motion.

I am not that girl in her first high school years, who had never touched another country, never been brought to such traumatic lows and such overawing heights. I hope that it can only be as much with you. Perhaps, you have made the universe without a skin your playground. Perhaps, you race the light across the galaxy for fun, and the tales of your daring adventures are still returning to the earth at the snails pace of liminal light, arduous and tireless then the void.

Perhaps, you blow the stop lights into being for the small children who wish and stare hard enough from the front seats. Or maybe you have gone to where the bees when, to join the jam-bee-rie. Silly, right? Foolish? But you smiled, didn't you. I wish you, what I have always wished you, with all of my heart, and all of love (and even, yes, all of my absence-laden sorrow):

An endless existence of magic,
wherein there is only joy, and only wonder,
where pain can never touch you, and the only things for you
are made of beauty, and miracles, and laughter, and light, and love.



From the girl who will carry your heart in her heart forever,
Amanda

It'll be twenty years next year.

Oct. 17th, 2017 07:23 pm
wanderlustlover: (Days We Won't Get Back - quebelly)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
Sometimes it's the oddest stray piece of conversation that tucks into us, unwitting, unwarned, like a hook catching in the mouth of a fish, there in the middle of the stream, there just getting through dinner and another bite of chicken with cranberries and apple pieces.

It''s been nineteen year now.

As I said, at the end of my last piece, there was dinner with my mother, at the Cracker Barrel, where they sadly haven't started truly serving fall flavors yet. There will be more in November, but for now it there's just the add for Pumpkin Pancakes and the graciousness of my server who brought me hot cider. (In leiu of hot Earl Grey or Darjeeling that might keep me up all night.)

Expounding, or evading. (I feel like a fountain burst, words pushing everyday outward.
Everything I do involves words. How have I missed words so much at the very same time?)

It'll be twenty years next year.

I don't remember quite where it started. A conversation about how long we'd been having dinners/meals together, and whether it had or hadn't been a decade. Since it's either a decade, or one year short of a decade, since I got my masters. (What does it even say that it took me that long in life to get around to a job that required it? What does it say that I never even noticed until now?)

My mother's rebuttal, was with the second of those quote. For what? My sister's passing.




It's not surprising it's on her mind. It's tomorrow. Tomorrow it's nineteen years.
Tomorrow another day passes and she's still gone; the world still somehow turning.
wanderlustlover: (Confessions - crystalkirk)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
I'm only here, and home, a few minutes between my long drive from work to home, and turning around to go out to my parent's house for my weekly Tuesday Night Dinner with Mom. I think a lot of about this. Writing. My journal. The space it used to be. Both how silent and empty it was the very beginning (in 2001, before I graduated), to the middle when it was the hot bed of the internet (both live journal, and dream width), to now with it's quiter, far more gamers heavy, placement.

I loved my journal from the beginning. It was my sacred place. My personal space. Even as it intersected with public space, it was not defined by it (save for that single, last, box-requiring, relationship). While I embrace the concept of the placebo effect as part plausibility,

I, also, feel like I have more space in my brain the last day or two, just jotting things down.

I miss this. All of it. My space, my place, my records, my larks.
The world that used to be all mine, but with open windows.

~*~

My children wrote goals for themselves last Monday (the one before this past one). They had to set three goals, and in the future beginning of each six weeks they will look at the goals they set and reflect on whether they met them. I set myself one goal and one sub-goal in relations to it.
Goal: Miss Tillman will go home at 4:30 on the days she does not have meetings and/or private tutoring scheduled, so that Amanda can go back to existing between more than 8pm and 6am, during which most time is spent sleeping.

Sub-Goal: Use extra hours recovered from not leaving at 5:30-6 every single night (which I did, basically, the whole first six weeks) to get back to the gym for weightlifting/swimming and to spend more time relaxing at home/anywhere that is not my desk chair.

Sub-Goal, Part 2: There will be no grading on Friday Nights or during Saturday's. Miss Tillman is banned from existing on these and may return, briefly on Sundays. Real life deserves it's forum and places just as much as being good at, and/or passionate about, the job you deeply love.
Today is the first time I've managed to do part one, as every afternoon last week had a meeting of some sort. No gym tonight, due to Mother's dinner, but I am readying my bag for standby in my car and continuing in this vein to getting more and more space to myself, my life, back to my normal routines. The healthy, happier, and more balanced I am, the better for my kids.

~*~

I've always been the girl who got more packages than anyone else in this neighborhood. That's a truth going on about five years now. But I have to wonder what story my mail man tells himself, or makes up, about the fact that 90% of my package/parcel flood of smaller packages these days come directly from Japan.

Morning made

Oct. 17th, 2017 06:44 am
wanderlustlover: (Squee!!! - aisling12)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
I'm still behind and need to pick something to do with my Introduction to Lear today, but my morning is made by the announcement of Yuletide Book Swap, Candy Swap & Drink Swap opening sign-ups last night. These swaps have become part and parcel with my Yuletide prep and enjoyment now and I'm excited to see everything Yuletide slotting into place for another amazing holiday season.

Yule Links & Calendars

Oct. 17th, 2017 06:41 am
wanderlustlover: (Holiday: Yule - Faroh's blank)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
Christmas Cards
Christmas Card Post One [Forthcoming]
Christmas Card Post Two [Forthcoming]
Christmas Card Post Three [Forthcoming]
Christmas Cards mailed, Dec 5th [forthcoming]


Fandom Stocking
Sign-ups, Nov ?? [ Comm here]
Stocking Link
Fill Some Stockings [forthcoming; post-Yuletide]


Holiday Wishlist
Holiday-Wishes, Nov ? [Comm Here]
Wish List, Nov 30 [Comm here, Entry Here]
Fill 3 wishes on Holiday Wishes [Forthcoming]
Fill 3 wishes on Wish List [Forthcoming]



'While we tell of Yuletide Treasure Fic
Sign-ups, Open - Oct 1
Sign-up, Completed - Oct 7
Assignment Received - Oct 10

Yuletide Letter [Here]
Canon Rewatching [Forthcoming]

Yuletide's Past Meme, December 15th [Forthcoming]

Master Index Post [here]
Memo Notes: Misses Claus, Chromatic Creating, Crueltide, Yuletide Drabble Madness, Wrapping Paper, Fem


'While we tell of Yuletide Treasure Swap
Sign-Up's, Oct 17 - Completed
Swap Ship Deadline, Nov 13th - [Forthcoming]
Mine: Sent/Received
Book Swap - [Forthcoming]
Candy Swap - [Forthcoming]
Drink Swap - [Forthcoming]

Theirs: Sent/Received
Book Swap - [Forthcoming]
Candy Swap - [Forthcoming]
Drink Swap - [Forthcoming]






Oct-Dec To Do's, in Order/Due Dates

[Forthcoming]
wanderlustlover: (Holiday: Yule - Faroh's blank)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
I have too many plates already spinning with me ...and now we tell of Yuletide Treasures (including 6 mini challenges & the 3 swaps) to throw my hat into writing for Holly Poly this year, but I'm so delighted by it's simple existence.

I can't wait to see what stories come out of there. It'll be a nice boost in early January.
wanderlustlover: (Beauty Sailor Moon - allinye)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
This year has become something of an anime central in my world. I had watched the occasional show a long time before now. Sailor Moon happened throughout my childhood. Ouran High School Host Club happened during Milliways, and playing Haruhi. Utena Revolutionary Girl started during the end of Stephanie and a finished nearly two years later with Laura. The smattering of a million things in-between. Ghost in the Shell, and Akira, and Evangelion, Ronin Warriors, Cowboy Bebop, and on as advised seldom over time.

But, it had been a while even between Utena, and the years after cosplaying it, and Laura dragging me into Yuri!!! On Ice one fateful snowstorm last Christmas break. Somewhere in there, between Yuri!!! On Ice getting a best friend & roleplaying hook in and another girl friend in Geek Girl Brunch who was only too helpful with getting me recs, I fell hook, line and heavy metal weight into the anime section checking off things down lists as I was going.

I watched Your Name and A Silent Voice. Had my heart blown apart (possibly never to entirely return back to the shape is was) by Grave of the Fireflies. I loaded up in rows Princess Jellyfish, Madoka Magic, Free, and Attack on Titan. Movie Madness Night (an every last Friday of the month event I put on for friends now) saw me through watching the first episode or two of Food Wars.

I fell not-quite-by-accident into The Ancient Magus Bride, without any help, simply due to following some news on CrunchyRoll once that subscription happened. I bought an early, full pass, to Fathom's Studio Ghbili Fest 2017, even though I've seen all the movies at least once. (It's been glorious seeing them on the big screen though.)

I joined my city's once-a-month free screenings at a movie theatre by Anime at the Alamo group, but I've only managed one month of like four not to be either already scheduled on the night of their showing or not to have already scheduled something on every other night of the week and desperate for a break. For that night we watched Dimension W. I watched Castlevania with all my friends/family when it hit Netflix.

Somewhere in the late spring, almost out-for-the-summer, I got voluntold into The Anime Club at my high school (and the Nerdvana Con Meeting), which has only just started these last few weeks. The first meeting they listed anime's they might want to watch across the year and came up with a truly impressive 70+ individual titles. Their first three watching Friday's were dedicated to Princess Mononoke, and this Friday they'll move on to the first three episodes of Death Note.

They meet every Friday, but they probably won't end up watching more than 3-6 episodes of everything. We're doing a roulette tasting wheel of everything (and possibly there will be holiday themed pieces, too). If nothing else, it's going to end up with me exposed to a couple dozen different shows, all of which I might end up having to watch the whole rest of.

Which does not even touch the fact I have a queue longer than my arms of series rec's, too.




Pieces and parts of this ramble brought to you by the plethora of Yuri!!! On Ice things on my couch and shelves, watching the two new episodes of the newly started Ancient Magus' Bride post-OVA serial, and catching a (necessary to be pre-watched before handing off to the children on Friday) episode of Death Note with Laura before bed.
wanderlustlover: (Fan Girl - anon)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
[ Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

Borrowing over a fandom meme from [personal profile] musesfool (who in turn is borrowing it over from [personal profile] misbegotten). 50 questions, because it seems a sensible thing to start in the middle of the night when I need something to place in the giant silence headed precisely nowhere, but did, at the very least, decide not to be a migraine.

Fandom Questions 50, Part I

Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

11. Who is your current OTP?
Given we left off last time, in my current fandoms being Yuri!!! On Ice, my current OTP obsession is Yuri Katsuki/Victor Nikiforov.

12. Who is your current OT3?
I...don't really have one in this canon? I often do at times, and I've read a handful of Chris/Victor/Yuri pieces and even Victor/Yuri/Yurio pieces in the long slog through tons of fic being written in A03 for this fandom in the spring/summer, but none of the OT3's are my hardcore loves.

Wait. I lied. The whatever it is/isn't that's going on with Emil & The Crispino's. I don't really ship incest much (>_> Yeah, I know. I have that one Skywalker fic, I know, and I've totally written meta on Simon-River, and read Flowers in the Attic as a kid). But. Emil and the Crispino's for serious. Emil, who flirts with both twins and tries to get both their attention, and who spends time checking them both out.

I'm here for whatever is happening with those three.

13. Any NoTPs?
None? I don't really have any glaring red alert problems with ships in this fandom.

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?
The main trio, I suppose goes here? Yuri, Victor, and Yurio as the trio the art depicts as happening, even if the canon hasn't made happen in the slightest yet. I'm really living for the day we'll finally have canon on how that happens and why and where.

I want to see more of Yurio in the land that the last episode/two shows us, addressing that not just Victor, but Yurio, too has gotten his L-words of "love" and "life" from Yuri, as well. That he both carried it and shows it in different ways than anything we've seen with Victor. I want to see what happens to the Victor & Yurio dynamic, too, especially as the art paints these three always together, and yet interviews are still saying that Victor is still only truly his happier relaxed self about only Yuri, himself.

Everything about Yuri & Phichit's cutest best friends thing ever, where Phichit attached himself to Yuri's life forever and didn't let go, and Yuri totally came to appreciate it and Phichit and never wants that to end, no matter where in the world they are. Also, Victor & Chris' best-flirty-competitors-frenemies thing. I'm around for more in that book, too.

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?
Early on Yakov/Lilia, and everything with a side of Minako/Lilia.

16. Are there any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?
No?

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?
Victor & Yuri, and yes, a million times over. My pocketbook is still feeling the constant burn, as is my inability to wait for tags, or for new merchandise/art, or for each of the new events I stalk across the universe, tracking down every crumb said everywhere about them by the creators.

18. What ship have you written the most about?
Given I'm playing Yuri over there, I'd have to say that answer is obvious.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?
I'm not really all that invested in almost any other ship but the main one in this canon. I like skimming them in reading, and a lot of them come up. I have a passing fancy now and then with Sara/Mila. But really I'm not massively all over the other ships that are sailing in the YOI waters.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?
Isabella/JJ. I don't have any true love for JJ as a character by himself, but I adore Bella's absolutely, unwavering dedication to the boy she loves and her entire scene standing up, crying, and still shouting his name, even in his defeat, has me almost teary eyed every time. I'm here for more Isabella Bela in the future, too.
wanderlustlover: (Friends: Be Gentle - erised_dream)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
I feel a lot lately like a huge puzzle that is rambling around, shaken and tossed and dropped, still within the confines of it's unopened box. All the sides rubbing against each other, but none of them in true connection in that darkness. None of them seeing the bigger picture, even seeing the colors on their opposite sides in that less than a square foot of darkness.

My work goes well. Actually, that is an understatement. After three years in Special Ed, and two and half months spent having panic attacks that I would never be able to handle this new job, I am doing stupendous for a first year alone. The lion share of my kids adore me, my down to earth nature, the music I play daily. They come for tutoring, and they come for recommendations to every which college and future placement.

My failure rate for my first six weeks was under 9%, which was not matched by anyone in either of my Junior or Senior AP teams, or my friend down in Pre-Ap I for English. I haven't gotten angry at them yet, but I am firm about my rules and about the things I will and I won't accept.

It's everything else that seems to be tossed up a lot. I'm too busy in the afternoons with extracurricular's: Leader Academy, Book/Comic Book Club, and Anime Club. I'm on the committee boards for Nerdvana Con, the SLO Pilot for Junior AP, and The Principal's Advisory (though at least Nerdvana Con's weekly planning meetings will end soon, as Nerdvana Con is in two weeks, thank you every deification everywhere).

My laundry hasn't really been finished in three weeks, even though I did 2/3rds of it the last time I started. Yuri on Ice is the one thing that really glues anything together in my evenings and mornings, which is too much to ask of one small show. The SciFi Meetup is generally, mostly, taking care of itself, while Geek Girl Brunch never does such a thing and goes up and down like a ship in the waves.

My DM is pregnant and DND sessions have been canceled for a good while. My health. . . probably deserves its own post, as it's another shaken around box without many air holes in it for the scrabbling that goes on inside of it anytime I have to think about it.

I miss my spiritual groups with a longing, an emptiness, and a nostalgia all swirled together that defies terms to name it. There are bridges I cannot and would not uncross, for things that were not good being done to others, and yet these spaces and places remain empty and I long.

I'm rambling without a course. My tiller is missing a bit lately.
wanderlustlover: (Love: Give Me Your Hand - bookelfe)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
Borrowing over a fandom meme from [personal profile] musesfool (who in turn is borrowing it over from [personal profile] misbegotten). 50 questions, because it seems a sensible thing to start in the middle of the night when I need something to place in the giant silence headed precisely nowhere, but did, at the very least, decide not to be a migraine.

Fandom Questions 50, Part I

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?
It's hard to place the timing exactly, but it is either X-Men or Elfquest, as both started when I was knee-high to grasshopper. Given the X-Men cartoon is, apparently from 1992 (making me 9), and Elfquest was being defended, paper-dolled for Barbie, and read at least by kinder/first grade, it appears it's likely Elfquest. Which I'm entirely good with.

2. What is your latest fandom?
Yuri on Ice. It is a blackhole of beauty from which my pocketbook knows no end currently.

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?
That. . .is a super hard question.

The fandoms themselves are long and varied, happened on many platforms, and go back as far as Subreality and Chat House, and as forward as Tumblr, Plurk, and Discord. I don't know if I have any specific, singular fandom involvements that have been radiant star favorites, but I have loved deeply a lot of cross-fandom things that I never lose love for and spend time reminiscing on still.

Milliways is one that never goes out of style for that.
So is while we tell of Yuletide treasures which I'll never not do.

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?
In the longest of long runs, I think I feel sometimes that one day I'm going to look back and feel that way about Twilight, but the Sparkle Mafia of Milliways really was just filled with too many amazing writers and I spent too long lost in the joy of writing eighty years before the books.

I am uncertain if I regret getting into a not-quite-a-fight with the actress from Hawaii Five-0 that I did, and still look at my life baffled that certain actress got that involved with me personally for show captioned write-ups.

5. Which fandoms have you written fanfiction for?

That is the sound of my pained laughter you can't hear, because the answer is like -- five billion?

My A03 reports it as the following:
Hawaii Five-0 (2010) (157), Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer (63), Once Upon a Time (TV) (58), Robin Hood (BBC 2006) (57), Milliways (38), X-Men (Comicverse) (31), Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis (24)
X-Men - All Media Types (20), Babylon 5 (18), Supernatural (17)

Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins (12), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (11), Smallville (10), Farscape (9), X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies) (9), The Ordinary Princess - M.M. Kaye (8), Batman (Comics) (7), Beauty and the Beast (TV 1987) (7), DCU (Comics) (6), Tarot (Divination Cards) (6), Ysabel - Guy Gavriel Kay (5), The Fionavar Tapestry - Guy Gavriel Kay (5)

Becoming Jane (2007) (4), Star Wars - All Media Types (4), Robin Hood (Traditional) (3), Marvel (3), Hell on Wheels (TV) (3), Stargate SG-1 (3), Holes - Louis Sachar (3), Grey's Anatomy (3), Batgirl (Comics) (2), New Mutants (2), The Woods (2006) (2), The Sundering - Jacqueline Carey (2), Charmed (TV) (2), Superman (Comics) (2), Star Wars Prequel Trilogy (2), Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate (2), Superman - All Media Types (2), Firefly (2), Haven (TV) (2), Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2), Xena: Warrior Princess (2)

Alias (TV) (1), The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle (1), The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern (1), The L Word (1), Robin Hood (1973) (1), Spider-Man - All Media Types (1), Wayfarer Redemption - Sara Douglass (1), Sanctuary (TV) (1), Kushiel's Legacy - Jacqueline Carey (1), Taken (TV 2002) (1), The Sandman (Comics) (1), Jeremiah (TV) (1), Burn Notice (1), Labyrinth (1986) (1), Titans (Comics) (1), Revenge (TV) (1), Princess Tutu (1), Nightwing (Comics) (1), The Originals (TV) (1), Green Arrow (Comics) (1), X-Men (Movieverse) (1), Battlestar Galactica (2003) (1), Leverage (1), Weapon X (Comics) (1), Roswell (TV) (1), Arthurian Mythology & Related Fandoms (1), Kabuki (Comic) (1), Heartwood (1), Terminator (Movies) (1), Robin (Comics) (1), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1), Elfquest (1), Dark Angel (1), The Symphony of Ages - Elizabeth Haydon (1), Robin of Sherwood (1), Glee (1), Terminator - All Media Types (1), Star Trek: Voyager (1), Band of Brothers (1), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types (1), Teen Titans - All Media Types (1), Tortall - Tamora Pierce (1)


6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Uh. This is going to be long and not as easy to copy-paste sadly.

Danny Williams/Steve McGarrett. Edward Cullen/Carlise Cullen. Snow White/Prince Charming, Emma Swan/The Huntsman & Gold/Belle. Marian/Robin Hood (which will also be trumped for life by Marian/Caspian, too). Jean Grey/Logan, Jean/Ororo, Kitty/Illyana, Kitty/Piotr. Lyta Alexander/Zach. Jo Harvelle/Dean Winchester (but also Jo/Dean/Rachel, Jo/Kol/Thorfinn). Peeta/Katniss. Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger. Chloe/Clark/Lex. Dick Grayson/Barbara Gordon. Anakin/Padme, Luke/Mara Jade. Meredith/Dereck. Piper/Leo. Wash/Zoe, Inara/Mal, Kaylee/Simon. Lois/Clark. Vaugn/Sydney. Marco/Celia. Helen/John.

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

I don't really end up running around much with NoTP's as I'm very much a ship and let ship kind of girl. The only thing I don't do is seriously underaged ships, and by seriously I mean like deeply, seriously, non-content age of consent underaged, like kids-kids, below the age of physical maturation. It's on my far as you can go no wrong squick.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?
I was sitting in a snowstorm in Laura's house over Christmas when I got to watch the whole finished season, and there was light consideration of the topic afterward, but it all sorts of snowballed when Shannon threw one of the characters into a sandbox and then there was gaming, and then there were cons, and then my entire life turned into direct to the runners stream updates, acrylics buying, and zine stalking.

It's probably only a matter of time for the fic bug bites me and that happens, too.

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

That even though it's going through a sort of mid-fall lull, there's still new news, new merchandise, new zines, and new canon on the horizon not far away. Plus, a whole lot of the fandom is hugely excited for the actual Senior Grand Prix Finale (5 days and counting now! <3), which is all sorts of infectious and lovely to both watch and take part in.

10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Tons. Especially around Yuletide time. But, also, because even when I've wandered off from a fandom I'm still following a ton of subscriptions on A03 which means I get updates from people in those fandoms still, too, or even more fandoms they fall into and then I end up reading those, as well.
wanderlustlover: (Lonely Searching- Linda)
[personal profile] wanderlustlover
It's late, and it's been awhile.

You know that when you start clearing out every old following setting and somehow lost how to get to your friends page for about three minutes of perusing the FAQ. I have been thinking a lot about my journal in amid a lot of missing things and shifting places. I fluffed the pillows and I'm going to go fill in the beginning of a long a survey while I don't do the only thing I should be doing to be able to be up, again, at 6: go to sleep.

It's a thing. Maybe will get to that at a point, too.

Scheduling Info!

Oct. 12th, 2017 06:42 pm
darjeeling: ([ MOD ] Fandom Weekly)
[personal profile] darjeeling posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Please note that we'll will be extending Challenge #46 through until NEXT Monday, October 23rd, not this coming Monday, to give everyone a chance to reset to the usual schedule. Following that, we will be returning to the regular weekly format. Our next Amnesty period will be following Challenge #50 and run for its normal two weeks.

Thank you!

[#046 | FOOL'S GOLD] Challenge Post

Oct. 12th, 2017 06:41 pm
darjeeling: ([ MOD ] Fandom Weekly)
[personal profile] darjeeling posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Challenge 046:
FOOL'S GOLD
Also known as iron pyrite, fool's gold is a gold-colored mineral that is often mistaken for real gold. Fool's gold is also a common term used to describe any item which has been believed to be valuable to the owner, only to end up being not so.

Write a story where someone values (either knowingly or unknowingly) something that doesn't actually have a tangible worth.

BONUS GOAL: Three's Company

If your submission is written in three separate scenes, that entry will earn an extra point to be tallied during voting!

Challenge ends Monday, October 23 at 9:00PM EST
• Post your submission as a new entry using the template in the profile
• Tag this week's entries as: [#] submission, 046 - fool's gold
• If you have questions about this challenge, please ask them here

Voting Reminder

Oct. 11th, 2017 11:37 am
darjeeling: ([ MOD ] Fandom Weekly)
[personal profile] darjeeling posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Please remember to vote for Challenge 45. We have 5 votes so far.
darjeeling: ([ MOD ] Fandom Weekly)
[personal profile] darjeeling posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Here are the entries for this week's challenge:

List of entries )

In order to vote, please reply to this post using the form provided. All comments are screened, and entries are listed in the order they were submitted. For your vote to qualify, you must fill out your entire voting card (all three spots) in order to be counted. First place votes are worth 3 points, second place votes are worth 2 points, and third place votes are worth 1 point. Meeting the bonus goal on an entry gets an extra point for that submission.

When voting, please copy/paste the ENTRY NUMBER and the FIC TITLE from the list above into the spot you're voting for (this prevents accidentally mis-numbering a vote and casting it for the wrong entry). It should look like this:

First Place: 61. Fic Title Here
Second Place: 88. Another Fic Title
Third Place: 47. Finally a third fic title goes here

Please note that you cannot vote for your own entry, and that votes cannot be made anonymously. You do not have to be a member of the community in order to vote, nor have submitted an entry for this week; everyone is welcome to participate in the voting. IP addresses are logged to prevent duplicate voting.



Voting closes Wednesday, October 11th, at 9:00PM EST.
iluvroadrunner6: ([smallville] clark/tess)
[personal profile] iluvroadrunner6 posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Theme Prompt: #045 – Spared No Expense
Title: Talk Me Into Losing Just as Long as I Can Win
Fandom: Original
Rating/Warnings: PG
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 589
Summary: What happens when a casino fundraiser goes horrible wrong.

talk me into losing just as long as i can win )

[#45] Extravagant (Ace Attorney)

Oct. 9th, 2017 01:13 pm
sarajayechan: &hearts; <lj user="livebites"> (Klavier/Apollo)
[personal profile] sarajayechan posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Theme Prompt: Spared No Expense
Title: Extravagant
Fandom: Ace Attorney
Rating/Warnings: None
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 628
Summary: "What good is a prosecutor's salary plus the residuals from album sales if you can't spend them on your boyfriend?" Or, money can't buy love, but Klavier just likes to spoil Apollo anyway.

You're enjoying this way too much. )
rivulet027: (Default)
[personal profile] rivulet027 posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Theme Prompt: 045: Spared No Expense
Title: Sometimes You Lose When You Win
Fandom: MCU (Sometime after Iron Man 2 and right after Captain America being found)
Rating/Warnings: Alcoholism, Drunk character
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 846
Summary: Rhodes and Happy take care of a drunk Tony who's just found out Captain America is alive.

Sometimes You Lose When You Win: )

[#045] WORTH THE COST (TORCHWOOD)

Oct. 8th, 2017 01:04 pm
m_findlow: (Dancing)
[personal profile] m_findlow posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Theme Prompt: #045 - Spared no expense
Title: Worth the cost
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating/Warnings: PG
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 1,000 words
Summary: Everybody loves a good wedding

Worth the cost )
jordannamorgan: Tom Holland as Peter Parker, "Spider-Man: Homecoming". (Spider-Man)
[personal profile] jordannamorgan posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Theme Prompt: 045: Spared No Expense
Title: Investment
Fandom: MCU (takes place during Captain America: Civil War)
Rating/Warnings: None
Bonus: No
Word Count: 625
Summary: Tony put something far more costly than money into Peter’s suit.

Investment )

[#045] Never Enough (Torchwood)

Oct. 7th, 2017 05:15 pm
badly_knitted: (Immortal)
[personal profile] badly_knitted posting in [community profile] fandomweekly




Theme Prompt: #045 – Spared No Expense
Title: Never Enough
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating/Warnings: PG / None.
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 717
Summary: Jack is trying to do all he can for the victims of the Rift, but he’s only too well aware of just how little that is.
A/N: Set pre- and post-Adrift.


Never Enough... )

who i am

greystreetgabby: found @ stock-icons.livejournal.com (Default)
Gabby

what i am

cowboy boots and summer dresses; thirty-something self-proclaimed geek, writer, artist, lover, laugher, cowgirl, fighter; chronically ill and chronically smiling, a mess of leather and lace, wild curls, and summer dresses; beating it off the beaten path, creating something out of nothing, making art with you. ♥

small business owner ; custom jewelry maker ; currently homeless RPer & writer.

"Although nobody can go back and make a new beginning, anyone can begin now and make a new ending." ~ Chico Xavier

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